The Friendship Dating Game
By Brandi Walerius
Do you come here often?
I know you, don’t I?
Can I buy you a drink?
Do you recognize these pickup lines to start up a conversation— a conversation that could lead to a relationship, or at the very least a fun night out? Oh the wonderful world of dating.
After eight years of marriage the days of pickup lines are over, but are they?
Can we just admit that meeting good quality mom friends can be just as challenging as finding the right one, and I don’t know about you but having mom friends is vital to my sanity.
If you think about it, meeting a new mom friend really isn’t too much different than being in the single world. For instance…
I’ll see a mom at the park or in the grocery store line whose demeanor or interaction with her children screams friend quality. Maybe she orders my exact order in front of me at Starbucks, or I overhear her on the phone using the same tone of voice as I do when talking to her husband about this or that. Whatever it may be, something clicks that says this could be someone I can see myself getting along with. (And, of course there are tons of other ways to meet great moms besides the random sightings. I know my local Mothers’ Center group and my involvement with Mom-mentum has cemented some incredible lifetime friendships.)
The Pick Up Line
I have classic mom pick-up lines I use. “How old is he/she?” or “What school does he/she attend.” referring to the child. “Busy time of the year, right?” This last line pretty much works anytime of the year, because let’s face it—as a mom it’s a given you are busy pretty much all the time. (If you are looking for friendships with other moms, don’t ever be afraid to reach out. One of my closest mom friendships started from a conversation in line at our local deli shop!)
Sometimes it’s a dud attempt, but sometimes when the friend universe aligns a meaningful conversation takes place, sometimes so much so that contact information is exchanged, a playdate is scheduled and a friendship begins.
The first date with a mom may be a little nerve wrecking. What if we don’t have enough in common? What if our kids don’t get along? What if junior has a complete and utter embarrassing meltdown? (It’s worth the chance. It really is. You never know what great friendships can be forged if given the chance.)
Yes, mom friendships are a lifeline for me. I have learned to stop googling for resources and support and turn to my friends who are on the motherhood track with me. When the daily drudgery is drowning me, I can always count on my mommy friends to re-energize, refocus, and recharge my spirit. Motherhood can be lonely. It just can, but it doesn’t have to be. I know it may be tough to make the time for friendships when there’s nap time, rehearsals, practices, kids getting sick, but having others who understands life as a motherhood makes these friendships absolutely priceless.
There really is just something about knowing we’re not alone on this mom island that makes life more doable. So go-ahead—pull out those rusty “pick-up lines” and put them to use!
Leave a Comment: What are your best “pick-up” lines when it comes to making mom friends? Do you find making friends as a mother is easier or harder than dating?
Brandi Walerius is a member of the Mothers’ Center of Greater Toledo and helps co-facilitate their ‘Executive Mommas’ group—where members are able to professionally network and learn from each other while also getting support through the joys and frustrations of working and mothering. Brandi lives in Sylvania, Ohio with her husband and 2 young children, is a lifestyle blogger atwithbrandi.com, a Human Resource and Business consultant and also works for Mom-mentum‚ developing and supporting new Mothers’ Center Groups as the Group Growth Manager.