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Standing Still in the Moment—Are You a Mom “Living in the Now?”

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StandingStill

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Standing Still in the Moment—Are You a Mom “Living in the Now?”
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By Rosalia Davi
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About a year and a half into this whole parenthood thing, we seem to be hitting our groove. Our son is strong as a bull and smart as a whip, my new job feels a little less new every day, and we finally broke ground on the backyard project we’d talked about since moving in nearly two years ago. Our life is settling into a new normal, and it feels so good.

Why, then, am I already thinking about what’s next?

As someone who constantly looks for ways to improve her surroundings, I often find myself racing towards change only to become filled with second thoughts the minute the change takes place. Becoming a mother was no different. It took me a while to adapt to a new life after baby, and in some ways I still am. Yet my Facebook feed is filled with news of baby #2, 3, or 4, and I wonder if I’m falling behind – or worse, hurting my child by not providing him with a brother or sister. Am I really ready for round 2, or is my habit of chasing change plus the proliferation of others’ expanding families giving me a case of “FOMOO” (Fear of Missing Out…on Offspring)??

How often do we find ourselves basing some of our biggest life decisions on what people around us are doing? And with social media in our faces 24/7, it’s never been more exhausting to try and keep up with the Joneses. Even though ‘newsfeed envy’ isn’t a good enough reason to bring another person into this world, it’s hard to ignore societal norms gently but firmly pushing you in a direction that you aren’t quite sure you’re ready for.

That’s why I’m trying something that’s very foreign to me – I’m fighting back by maintaining the status quo. I don’t know if it’s a millennial thing, but I definitely feel the pressure to always be moving, growing, changing (or as we like to say, “evolving”). The constant state of metamorphosis is exhausting, yet the idea of standing still and being “in the now” is equally terrifying. To be comfortable with where we are currently means to accept – ourselves, our choices, and the direction in which we’re headed – which sounds positive, healthy even. And yet I can’t help but feel that to some degree, acceptance of how things are means giving up on some greater version of the life we’re supposed to be living.  

I will say that being a mom has brought me closer to the life I actually want to live, one in which I’m able to enjoy and be in the moment in a way I don’t think I could before. Once you start counting weeks, months and years in milestones and memories, the currency of time becomes more valuable. Therefore, I find I’m not as eager to rush forward to the next moment, because it couldn’t possibly be better than where I am right now.

And that’s ultimately why I’m perfectly content being a mom of one, for now and maybe for always.

 

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Leave a Comment: Are you able to stand still in the moment, or do you find yourself feeling the pressure to always be moving, growing, changing? Do you too experience with FOMOO (Fear of Missing Out…on Offspring)?

 


 

View More: http://dearstacey.pass.us/rosaliaandrosarioRosalia Davi is a first time mom who also works at a state university in New York. She is learning how to maximize peace of mind and productivity, and can be seen pondering the elusive work/life balance while exploring her home base of Long Island, NY. Rosalia has a dual Masters degree in Gender and Cultural Studies and Communications Management, and incorporates her passion for gender and all diversity throughout her career and personal life. She loves spending time with her family, reading, and building community both inside and outside of the workplace.

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Comments

  • katefineske

    This post really resonated with me. Too often we try to compare our lives to others when our truth, our needs, our day-to-day experiences are so very different. I constantly feel the pressure to always be growing—as a mother, a professional, a wife, a community member. I constantly remind myself that what works for others won’t always necessarily work for me (and visa versa). But SO easier said than done!

    • Rosalia

      I agree! It’s much easier said than done, but important we keep reminding ourselves to do what works best for us. Social media makes it that much harder, I think. But it’s also allows us to explore ideas and see how others are learning and growing, so I’m not ready to delete my FB account just yet 😉

  • Brandi

    This resonated with me as well. Slow living and being present is always something I have to consciously think about. I think there’s so much pressure to ‘keep up’ and the busier we are the more important others perceive us to be. As my youngest becomes older (our last) it is giving me a new meaning to time and I’m putting much more value on living in the moment than rushing ahead.

    • Rosalia

      Thanks Brandi! I love the idea of “slow living” – it sounds like a great mantra 🙂